Friday, June 10, 2011

Obedient Wives Club: Who Wants To Register???

Every time I want to write something about this, my mind goes everywhere until I lose track of the points and just simply give up.
The Obedient Wive’s Club.
Well, I have to be honest that I have not read their whole objective and mission but what has been portrayed in the newspaper is to my mind very… erm… insulting…
It’s not that I take whatever is in the print media seriously. I think the Editors are not as responsible as they were before. One simple example. The fact that newspapers publish blogpost as part of their news (and sometimes even as headlines!!!) shows that some journalist are super useless. How can you take a blogpost and treat it as a basis of a news piece? Do you think every blogger in this world are so ethical and trustworthy that they only post 100% factual posts? Oh I can go on and on about this but I’ll keep it for some other time.
Anyway…
Apparently there is this Obedient Wives’ Club that has just been established last week or so. One of its purposes is to teach wives how to be like a 1st Class Prostitute. This is what its President, Dr. Rohaya Mohamad said in its press statement:
"A man married to a woman who is as good or better than a prostitute in bed has no reason to stray. Rather than allowing him to sin, a woman must do all she can to ensure his desires are met.”
There was also something about wives should be better than a 1st Class Prostitute…
Wow…
Seriously… Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow…
And this is coming from a woman…
Wo Wo Wo…
(At this point, my fingers cannot cope with what my brain is thinking… Wow is the only word my fingers could type…)
RIDICULOUS LAH WEI!!!!
Ok! Ok!
There’s soo many things to write about that statement above but you can probably get typical “we cannot degrade wives to be akin to prostitute”; “marriage is a two way thing”; “Islam is not only about sex”;  yada yada yada elsewhere. The points I have to raise are slightly different. My points are:
1.  How would a husband know that his wife is underperforming / performing at par / is better than a 1st Class Prostitute, if he has not slept with a 1st Class Prostitute? Jeng Jeng Jeng!!!
2.    Who in the OWC would be the judge that a woman has passed the test of being at par or better than a 1st Class Prostitute? Would they be engaging prostitutes as sex coaches? Hmm… could be a good way to reduce prostitution… get them to work for OWC… LoL!
3.    What about the husbands? Can they perform better than a 1st Class Male Prostitute? Mana cukup sekadar tuck in perut boroi tu masa nak bergambar aje… perut mesti berketul macam David Beckham laa baru boleh cerita nak bini sama sexy macam Posh Spice…
 *Posh and Becks memang sexy...*
*Mamat antara Posh and Becks tu macam tengah pikir "Aku ni sehendsem Beckham tak??" & kebanyakan husbands punye perut adalah macam mamat sebelah Beckham dengan pouch merah... No offence guys... huhu...*
4. Are there any old 1st Class Prostitute ?
*Jomla abang... I 1st Class tau!*
My oh my…
The list of questions can go on and on…
I think I’ll stop with just another point which I think is very important when a husband wants to demand of something. It’s the classical “trade off” concept where there is an exchange of one thing in return for another. A simple Economics concept we are all familiar with.
When a wife is asked to join this club by their dearly beloved husband, I think she should ask him back the following question...
Are you willing to pay me... or “Can you actually afford to pay me the price of a 1st Class Prostitute every time we have sex?”
No No No…better yet… Don’t ask… Give this statement instead…
“Nak 1st Class Prostitute service… BAYARLAA!!”
*Banyak ni cukup???*
LoL!
Please do tell me his facial expression and reply when you ask him this…
Blog adjourned.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Some Things You Just Can't Explain...

I got this from an email... kesian... kesian...

A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"

The farmer says "Some things you just can't explain".

"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.

The farmer then decides to try an answer "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over".

"That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain".

"So what happened?" the man asked again.

The farmer relenting continued, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over".
*Disclaimer: Picture above is just a random guy milking an udder... nothing to do with the story... :)*

"Again?"

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain".

"So, what did you do then?" the man asked, intrigued. "I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail".

"Wow, you must have been pretty upset! But that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed".

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain".

"So then what else did you do?" the man asked again.

"Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain!!"

Blog adjourned...

Monday, June 6, 2011

Facts About Poop

Tee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee
or more like Tahii hii hii hii
Right... I was surfing the net and I found some facts about Poop.
Since everyone poops, so I guess you might be interested to know about those smelly stuff you have to face with once a day / twice a day / once in two days or whenever you feel you need to...
LoL!
*26 feet!!! Shit! Power giler!!!!*

However, it still makes me wonder how a cute lil baby girl like Alisha can produce a small seketul turd that can stink our whole room and bathroom for a few hours... 
Powerla chempedak poop ni...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

What Is Greater Than God?

What is greater than God?

More evil than the Devil?

The Rich need it…

The Poor have it…

If you eat it, you die….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

V


LoL!
Blog adjourned.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Perfect Timing


Back when I was 14, I remembered eying one Esprit watch at a watch shop that my family always goes to. We all call it our family watch shop. No, we don't have any share in the business but they give really good price to us. :) Somehow, I managed to persuade my parents to get that watch for me. If I’m not mistaken it was about RM250 or something. A really expensive watch for my standard. I had to mortgage my life to my parents and risk of not getting any other watch for the rest of my life as part of the bargain.
Well, that bargain was actually worth it I guess as the only time I was looking for another watch was when I was about to get married to the Bride. I was 25. This means I was using that Esprit watch for about 11 years! It’s still functioning well though probably the battery is dead… hmm, Now that I have mentioned it, I better go back and check that watch.
I’m not a fan of having too many watches. I get serabut to choose which one to wear if I had one too many.
So, as part of the hantaran, the Bride thought that it was about time to get me a new watch. I wanted something simple, stylish and with not too many functions. Time and date is good enough for me. After looking around, going from one shop to another, I could not find any watch that could make me want to leave my Esprit watch. Thank God the Bride was patient enough with my cerewetness. After looking high and low, I finally set my eyes on a blue Tag Heuer Aquaracer. It was love at first sight and I’m still loving it. So after going back to my trusted family watch shop, I managed to get a good bargain on that watch. I have been using it since 4.4.2008. (If you look at the picture at the heading of this blog, you could see my Aquaracer on my right hand.)
*THANK YOU SAYANG! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEE MY PWEESENT!!!!!!!!*
A few nights ago as I was chilling with my friends, a friend of mine who was about to get married was also looking for a Tag watch for his bride. I told him that I can help him get a good price at my family watch shop. I also told him that Tag is definitely a good brand and looks damn elegant. 
Orang muda punya jam laa bro… hehehe
I shared with him that I have been using mine for 3 years and surprisingly, the battery is still good. I remembered the salesgirl telling me that if my battery is weak, the second indicator would not be ticking every second but would move every five seconds. So far, my Tag has been ticking at every second diligently.
My friend wanted to know how much my family watch shop could offer. So yesterday after work, we went to that shop. The last time I checked my watch was at 5.10pm as I left office. As we arrived at the shop and started the usual chit chat, we enquired about the Tag that my friend wanted. Actually, that shop do not sell any Tag watches and she has to get from her dealer (for me back in 2008) and now for my friend… and at the same time, still give a bloody good discount J). My friend said he’s gonna look around and see other watches first. After all that has been settled, I asked the salesgirl:
Eh, how come my battery is still good after three years?
She told me about the 5 seconds indicator. Then we both looked at my watch.
Lo and behold!
The second indicator started to show that the battery is weak! It was still for 5 seconds before it moved. Then it remained still for another 5 seconds and so on…
I was super shocked!
Either this watch has a perfect timing for everything, or your shop has the ability to suck my watch’s battery’s life!
We both laughed and I got her to change the battery.
Then I said:
You remember always asking me to get an Oris and not Tag?
This is the reason why I chose Tag Heuer. 
Perfect timing for everything. 
Battery weak pun perfect timing.
LoL.
Blog adjourned.