Getting Without Asking.

One very weird fact about me is that I get the flow to blog only when I am engulfed with work. If I don’t have any work, my blogging mind goes into slumber.

The reason why you are reading this update is because I have to review two totally different matters over the weekend. Haha.

Anyway, I wanted to write one small matter relating to husband and wife relationship.

The best idea that each spouse should have is to please their spouse more than they please themselves. In other words, pleasing your spouse should be a priority over your own satisfaction. But that does not mean that you should not be happy yourself. If both spouse have this mentality, you would not be worried about not being happy because you would know that your happiness is the priority of your loved one as how her happiness is yours.

Having a relationship based on this mentality is not only healthy but it also eliminates negative presumptions.

Let me give you an example.

One day, the husband had to stay back in his office until super duper late. He did not have the opportunity to have dinner. His wife on the other hand, was super duper busy the whole day and was dead tired that night so she went to bed early. When the husband returned home, he still had homework to do but he needed something to eat and drink. Considering that his wife was already asleep, he didn’t want to wake her up to re-heat the food but he was in dire need for coffee specially brewed by his wife in order to be awake to finish his work. He politely wakes her up for that coffee.

Yeah, you might be thinking that that husband is super selfish when he can make his own coffee but let’s say that this couple had a thing where only the wife will make coffee and the husband does the dishes. LoL!

Anyway, if the relationship is not based on the earlier premise I have set out, the wife would get up and show a tantrum to the husband for waking her up to make a stupid coffee, make that coffee, pass a snide remark to the husband and goes back to sleep. The husband would be left with a cup of coffee, homework and also an angry feeling that his wife didn’t understand the fact that he was hungry and tired and that he didn’t even asked for food but just a simple cup of coffee. With such attitude, he might as well ask for food for at least he could be angry with a full tummy.

But if that relationship is based on the premise I mentioned above, the wife would get up and instinctively realise that her husband would not wake her up for merely a cup of coffee because he could have done it himself and that her husband must hungry after a long day and night of working and still having some homework. She gets up, wanting to please the husband, make coffee, reheat some food, add a little back massage and sits down to listen to the husband’s plea for sympathy as he gobbles up a really late dinner, and then goes back to sleep.

The satisfied husband then continues to do work and is happy that his wife understands his needs without even having to ask for it literally. When he gets his salary or bonus, buys his wife a nice gift just because he too wants her to be happy.

For you see, sometimes, it is nice to get something that we want without having to ask for it.

But since none of us are mind readers, we have to create a conducive environment and a healthy relationship so that by merely hinting a small thing, we can get what we actually want. Like the husband asking for coffee and ending up getting a coffee, some food, a short back massage, a smiling wife as a company for a meal and someone whom he can unwind and then get back to work.

Don’t you think this could strengthen the couple’s love and relationship?

Blog adjourned.

The 4 Kinds Of People

In Ihya Ulumuddin, in its first kitab which is about ilm, in chapter 6, Imam Ghazali quoted Al-Khalil bin Ahmad who once said:

(Well, I'm sure he spoke in Arabic and the book I have is translated in Malay. So I'll do my best to translate it into English)

"There are 4 types of people.

There is one kind who knows and knows that they know. These are the people of knowledge. Follow them!

There is one kind who knows but does not know that they know. These are people who are asleep. Wake them!

There is one kind who do not know but knows that they do not know. These are the those who seeks guidance. Guide them!

There is one kind who do not know and (sadly) do not know that they do not know. These are ignorant people. Push them away (stay away from them)!"

So, which kind do you belong to?

Blog adjourned.

Of Random Presentations And Poetry

Last night a good friend of mine invited me to attend her firm’s sort of like a mini-lecture series. Its called 70 minutes as the forum should be within 70 minutes. There were a lot of students and young aspiring lawyers who attended which made me feel slightly old. Haha.

Anyway, two young ladies who were in their final year in UIA came to say hi. They recognized me because of this blog. LoL! What a small virtual world. Hello there you two! I did not manage to catch your names so if you are reading this, please drop by a comment and share with me your names okay? *wave*wave*

Last week I was invited to present at a Corporate Finance Law Conference which was held at Renaissance Hotel. Alhamdulillah that went well. Me and my colleague did a tag team presentation on Islamic Finance Structures in Investment. I covered the introduction and debt financing principles whilst my colleague touched on equity financing and the legal framework of Islamic Finance in Malaysia.

Next week, I would be presenting on the Legal Aspects of Islamic Finance in Malaysia at the Palace of Justice before about 14 students from Pennsylvania University students. They are here on a Global Research Seminar programme and would be visiting lots of Islamic finance industry players. INCEIF, the place where I did my CIFP, are hosting them and wanted to come to Skrine for the talk but I suggested that they instead approach the Judiciary and try to get approval to visit the Palace of Justice and see the auspicious building and watch the awesome corporate video on the Malaysian Judiciary. Thereafter, I can just join in to give a short presentation. Alhamdulillah, all went well and the visit is scheduled next week. The funny thing is that, on the next day, my dad would be delivering a talk to them at INCIEF. Thank God I got to speak first or else after hearing my dad’s presentation, the standard would have been too high for me to reach.

Insha Allah, next week my whole family would be doing our Umrah. Please make dua for the safety of our journey. In case if you have any dua that you would like me to make for you whilst I’m there, please email me your name and the specific dua that you want. Insha Allah I will be bringing a small notebook filled with all of your dua’s and make sure that I don’t miss any J

That’s all for now. I will end this post with a poem, which I found in one of Sheikh Hamza Yusuf’s blog post. It is about loving Allah and disobeying Him. Click here for his blog. If you have the time, please youtube Sheikh Hamza Yusuf. I have never met him personally but I have heard his lectures in cd’s and also online. Masha Allah. Brilliant and extremely wise and knowledgeable. S.U.P.E.R.B.!!!

You claim to love God, and yet you disobey God;

This is a bizarre way of reasoning;

Surely, the lover, if his love is true;

Is most obedient to the one he loves.

I know, I know, it has nothing to do with this post but I just love the message of this poem. Just for lines and its like the poet had just smacked your face to wake up and buck up.

God knows best.

Blog adjourned.