Friday, March 30, 2012

Getting Without Asking.

One very weird fact about me is that I get the flow to blog only when I am engulfed with work. If I don’t have any work, my blogging mind goes into slumber.
The reason why you are reading this update is because I have to review two totally different matters over the weekend. Haha.
Anyway, I wanted to write one small matter relating to husband and wife relationship.
The best idea that each spouse should have is to please their spouse more than they please themselves. In other words, pleasing your spouse should be a priority over your own satisfaction. But that does not mean that you should not be happy yourself. If both spouse have this mentality, you would not be worried about not being happy because you would know that your happiness is the priority of your loved one as how her happiness is yours.
Having a relationship based on this mentality is not only healthy but it also eliminates negative presumptions.
Let me give you an example.
One day, the husband had to stay back in his office until super duper late. He did not have the opportunity to have dinner. His wife on the other hand, was super duper busy the whole day and was dead tired that night so she went to bed early. When the husband returned home, he still had homework to do but he needed something to eat and drink. Considering that his wife was already asleep, he didn’t want to wake her up to re-heat the food but he was in dire need for coffee specially brewed by his wife in order to be awake to finish his work. He politely wakes her up for that coffee.
Yeah, you might be thinking that that husband is super selfish when he can make his own coffee but let’s say that this couple had a thing where only the wife will make coffee and the husband does the dishes. LoL!
Anyway, if the relationship is not based on the earlier premise I have set out, the wife would get up and show a tantrum to the husband for waking her up to make a stupid coffee, make that coffee, pass a snide remark to the husband and goes back to sleep. The husband would be left with a cup of coffee, homework and also an angry feeling that his wife didn’t understand the fact that he was hungry and tired and that he didn’t even asked for food but just a simple cup of coffee. With such attitude, he might as well ask for food for at least he could be angry with a full tummy.
But if that relationship is based on the premise I mentioned above, the wife would get up and instinctively realise that her husband would not wake her up for merely a cup of coffee because he could have done it himself and that her husband must hungry after a long day and night of working and still having some homework. She gets up, wanting to please the husband, make coffee, reheat some food, add a little back massage and sits down to listen to the husband’s plea for sympathy as he gobbles up a really late dinner, and then goes back to sleep.
The satisfied husband then continues to do work and is happy that his wife understands his needs without even having to ask for it literally. When he gets his salary or bonus, buys his wife a nice gift just because he too wants her to be happy.
For you see, sometimes, it is nice to get something that we want without having to ask for it.
But since none of us are mind readers, we have to create a conducive environment and a healthy relationship so that by merely hinting a small thing, we can get what we actually want. Like the husband asking for coffee and ending up getting a coffee, some food, a short back massage, a smiling wife as a company for a meal and someone whom he can unwind and then get back to work.
Don’t you think this could strengthen the couple’s love and relationship?
Blog adjourned.

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1 obiter dictum:

sue nasar said...

agree! maashAllah :-)